A Bright Star

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Saturday, July 21, 2012

It's been awhile since I've written, not because I haven't thought about it, but what do you say when your journey is complete?  My time as a surrogate ended, the miracle my intended parents call "Little A" has actually grown into a handsome six-month old little guy already.  Yes, I said six months! 

At times I really wish I were still pregnant with Little A.  My pregnancy went exceptionally well, and I could not have asked for better intended parents.  I was watching a few old videos on my phone the other day - it was Little A moving all around and kicking from the inside out.  He always had a good way of reminding me that he was "hanging around".

Other times I am glad I am back to what one would call my normal life.  The daily routines of motherhood, school teacher, friend, volunteer and roller derby skater.  Each one of these rolls are just important to me as being a surrogate mother. 

That is why I've chosen to begin a second journey!  My intended parents would like to have a sibling for Little A!  I am so fortunate to continue working with them and helping them expand their beautiful family.  We updated the contract a little, I've gone to Rockford, IL to have my medical clearance and now we will wait for the IVF nurse to contact me with a plan, along with a finalized contract.  It is definitely much easier the second time around!

The intended parents have embryos frozen, so they RE will thaw two of them in October for our possible transfer and if all goes well Little A will become a big brother in 2013.

Every time I think about them, their family, my heart skips!  I am blessed to be a part of their journey to parenthood.

Much love
~jeannie

Saturday, March 31, 2012

10 weeks 2 days

Today we used Skype to see Little A and his proud papa. Little A's papa keeps trying to comb his hair over so it doesn't stick up, but it still does! I absolutely love his "rockstar" hair!

Little A was wide awake and smiling so much. He talked to us - ok, it really is just cooing, but I think he was talking. Papa says Little A loves to listen to music. He has a few he really likes. He also likes to play with his little zebra. It's a bright, colored stuff toy that hangs above him or next to him - he just started grabbing for it last week.

Little A loves his hands too! It's not just his fingers he likes either, he likes to stick his entire fist into his mouth. I'm sure it'll be soon and he'll be sticking more than just his fist. Before long and he'll be eating foods.

Little A has grown so much. He is already 60 cm (which I believe is about 25 inches); this means he's grown 5 inches already! He does look very tall for his young age.

Little A's papa returns to work on Monday. He is not looking forward to being away from Little A, but is relieved to have found a nanny that really loves children. I'm sure he will use the iPhone to communicate frequently with her and Little A.

We will definitely Skype again sooner and hopefully more often. We sure miss them all!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Happy Two Months!


Looking back, I cannot believe two months have passed since I gave birth to my little surrogate son, Alexandre. I have a lot of questions for his parents, but never want to seem to nosey - it's my curiousity that kills me some days. Although, I don't get to see him or hold him, I am very fortunate that my IPs still keep us connected through emails, pictures and videos. The videos are really the best because my family and I can see him wiggle around, "talk", and discover the new world around him.
My DH and I are starting a French conversational class soon. I am especially excited because I've always wanted to speak French and it will help build a different relationship with my IPs and Little A. Classes start April 2.
Alexandre and his parents are thought of each day...they'll always have a special place in my heart.
The picture of Little Alexandre - taken about 2 weeks ago when visiting his grandma.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Final Days in Iowa

Since the delivery a lot has happened. My IPs and grandmother spent two weeks living in Iowa and getting used to their new bundle of joy. During that time, we visited often and really learned so much about each other. They had so many things to do before returning to France - a trip to Madison to meet with our agency and for one IP to return to France early. On their trip they stopped in a small town, Cuba City, and took pictures because that is where I was born! Too cute :) After their return, they still needed to get Little A's passport. This meant a trip to Chicago mid-week. Thankfully everything went well and Little A was now ready to fly overseas to his home.

We had only one more night to spend together. We relaxed and ate our favorite pizza, Happy Joe's, with them at the hotel. I held Little A while I ate, because I knew after tomorrow it would be months or years from now that I would hug or hold him again. I cherished every moment. He is so handsome and sweet. I just love the smell of babies and their so-soft skin.

On Friday, February 3rd the newest addition to their family would be flying to Paris for the first time. We met the family at the airport. I had packaged 7000 mL of breast milk for them to take with - this was my gift to Alexandre. I want him to be as healthy as possible, so his parents don't have to worry!

I couldn't believe how many pieces of luggage they had between the three of them! They were large suitcases too. Once they were all checked in and had baggage scanned we sat, held Little, and chatted with them. Of course I knew they were ready to return to France after being here for one month, but at the same time I wished they could stay. As I said before, we'd really learned a lot about them, we experienced the delivery and birth of a beautiful baby boy together, and now they would be thousands of miles away and living on another continent.

It would be absurd of me to say that I was not emotional. I held my tears back for as long as I could, but once they started to go through the check-in gate it was much more difficult.
I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was crying because it happened.

There was a little hiccup in their departure. Little A needed a boarding pass, so this gave my family more time to see Little A and his grandmother. She was so sweet the entire time she visited Iowa. I do believe she began to enjoy Iowa but was definitely ready to go home. My daughters really adored her too.

Finally, it was time to leave. They went through the gates and my IP had to be scanned! Of course it must have been because he looks like a terrorist! Really?!? He does not, but I think if you are carrying a two-week old child with you, you probably have explosives in the car seat!

We waved our final waves and blew our last kisses...au revoir bon petit A une famille

Monday, January 30, 2012

It's a BIRTH day!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

5:45 AM
The day started out as usual, a shower, a little breakfast, oatmeal because I didn't want to throw antyhing up later. Then the rest of my house rose from their sleep. My DH was going to stay home and get the girls off to school as I drove myself and Little A to the hospital to get checked in.

7:00 AM
It is freezing outside! I entered our birthing center and checked in at the front desk. I was taken back to room 1172 and given my wonderful "gown". I put my things away in a closet, dressed in the beautiful blue back-tie gown and waited for my nurse. She was in the room within a few minutes. Her name was Jen. It was a bit ironic because the last time I was here, delivering my daughter, all the nurses names were Jen, Jenna, or Jenny.

Today, Jen had a post-partum nurse named Bridget, shadowing her because she is moving to Labor & Delivery. Both women were very young and very nice throughout the check-in process. The hospital did not receive my pre-registration, so I had to answer all the medical questions and such. During this time, my DH arrived too. He had to meet Grammy in the parking lot because our youngest wasn't moving very fast that day. She didn't really want to go to school.

Dr. V arrived to check my cervix at 7:30 AM. Sadly, not much had changed. When he shared this information I was completely let down. I knew then that I'd probably have to have Pitocin today. Not exactly what I hoped for.

He decided he would try to break my bag of waters. The long hook was yellow and made of plastic. He tried to get it into the right spot to pop the water, but it did not work. He asked Jen to get him a baby head monitor. This has a hook on it that attaches to the baby's head and monitors the heart rate. Dr. V knew if he could get that in there then the bag would be broke, even a little. That was a success! Little A's heart rate came up on the monitors and he was doing well.

Afterwards, I called my IPs as they were waiting at their hotel. They said they would come to the hospital around 9:00 AM. I was excited for them, because the birthing center was not busy so they would be able to have their own room to share with Little A.

Dr. V and Jen said I could walk the halls. After he left, my DH and I got up and started to walk the three different halls. We walked and walked...and walked...and walked some more.

9:15 am
My IPs arrived and we greeted them. There was so much excitement and "nervousness" in the air. They were absolutely cute...as was the grandmother.

9:45 am
They sat near my hospital room as Jen checked me again - still nothing, no real change. Oh my! You've got to be kidding me!!!
She let Dr. V know and he said I could continue walking but by noon if nothing changes, then it'll be time for Pitocin.

Jen and I joked around a lot that morning because she really wanted to start an IV line and I did not want her to. I do not like having needles in my hand, not one bit! She was so nice and said she'd wait until we were closer to "Pitocin time". She and Bridget did other tasks while my DH and I walked the halls. They brought in meds for emergency situations; they brought the baby bed warmer in; the scale; a couple of different cans for delivery (blood and towels).

My DH and I talked as we walked. I even did some squats. I kept suggesting that if I could put my skates on that I would go into labor or if I could walk the stairs, but no, no one would let me do either. The stairs were off limits - only use in case of emergency! Well, not being in labor 8 days over - is an emergency!!!

My IPs & grandmother were finally showed their room. Of course they were just happy, after two weeks of waiting in the United States, that today they would finally meet Little A. The biological IP was so nervous, he was pacing the hall a bit too...so sweet.

11:45 am
We were quickly approaching the "Pitocin hour". Jen wanted me to return to the room at 11:45 to get everything started. She checked me and then called Dr. V. He came to check too - still not much, but a little...almost to 3 cm and 80% now! WOOT!!! Oh no...still have to get Pitocin started.
Dr. V left and let Jen and Bridget do their job. Jen carefully put the IV in my left hand to begin the Pitocin on its lowest level. It actually wasn't too bad. Thank you Jen! Since I would be hooked up to the IV, I would not be able to leave the room. Instead I sat and stretched for about an hour on a yoga ball shaped like a kidney. My DH and I sat there watching the news. Nothing seemed to be happening. Little A's heart rate sounded like a ping-pong ball bounding on the table. It was strong!

1:00 pm
The hour went by fast and it was time for Jen to call Dr. V again. He instructed her to increase the Pitocin. Oh boy! Maybe this would help.

It was 1:00 and within ten minutes I was having consistent contractions that were strong. I continued to sit on the ball. After many contractions, Jen kept asking me how I was doing ona scale of 1 -10. They were definitely getting to be a little unbearable, but I was still hanging in there. I did not want to have an epidural, so I was trying to focus. My DH had put in the cd I brought, Adele. She has such a soothing voice and I knew if I could listen to her it would help calm me.

2:00 pm
By 2:00, I was standing and rocking my hips at the end of my bed. I had my DH push his balled up hand into my lower back to relieve some pressure. My DH, Jen, Bridget and I could tell that the contractions were extremely intense. The monitor measures them and when I first got the Pitocin they were only at 25 or so, but now after 2:00 most of my contractions were over 110! There were a few that were off the charts!

Jen asked me again if I wanted an epidural. It was about 2:15 pm and I finally said, "Yes, if this is how these contractions are going to be...yes." She went ahead and called to get the anethisiologist ready. She also called Dr. V to let him know where I was and that I'd be getting the epidural. I was at a 3 and 80% for her too - but she said it was still ok to get the epidural. She did get the ok to give me a shot of pain relief while we waited for the epidural.

I had been laying on the bed at this point and suddenly was not feeling the same. There was so much pain in my lower region, so Jen checked me again.

Jen was right! She kept telling me that women who are on their 3+ delivery tend to go quickly and she said maybe I was a "secret" dialator! LOL
In that ten minutes, I went from being 3 cm/80% to fully dilated and READY to deliver! There would not be time for an epidural now.
TEN MINUTES!!!

After that, things started happening quickly. Jen was on the phone to Dr. V - he was on his way! Extra nurses arrived, the bed was pulled apart, I felt like I had to push NOW!

I'm not sure what my IPs were thinking at this point, because they were all still in the hallway. Only one of them wanted to be in the room for delivery so between two contractions, I said, "Someone needs to get E!" I did not want him to miss the delivery of his son.

I don't know if he came in before Dr. V or not, but I recall Jen saying he's just a few minutes Jeannie, don't push...breathe with me, blow it out...Jen kept me focused...as much as she could.

Once Dr. V arrived I was more than ready to deliver Little A. I sat up and pushed once - and screamed so loud! He was coming out quickly and I could feel everything. Stop...breathe, blow it out...ok, Jeannie push his shoulders out. Again...a push and a scream.

Little A arrived! It was 2:56 pm on January 19, 2012.

E cut Little A's cord and he was placed in the warming bed to get tested for his APGAR score.
I could hear Little A just a little over all the other noises in the room. I was really trying to watch E with his son - he was taking some pictures of him in the bed.

It was all over; the pain was gone, no more contractions...the only thing left for me was to deliver the placenta. Dr. V massaged and worked at it for approximately 10 minutes. Everything with the delivery went well.

Little Alexandre was gorgeous!
He was born with a full head of dark hair.
A small baby - 7lbs 13 oz, 21 inches long.

My other IP and grandmother came into the room to see him. Everything was so surreal - here he was, the child we'd all been anxiously waiting for...he has made them a family.

As for me, I cannot express in words how the moment I saw them holding their son made me feel. It was extraordinary!

Much love...always to Little Alexandre, his parents and grandmother

TWO MORE DAYS - 1/17/12

That's right...almost 41 weeks pregnant and ONE more doctor's appointment to finally decide on when Little A would be born.

Of course I made my appointment for the morning, I do not like waiting until the end of the day for such special news. My nurse Tanya called my name and of course she is just as surprised as the rest of us that this little one hasn't arrived. We went through our routine: weight, blood pressure, urine, heart rate...etc. Once she and I were in the exam room we started talking about how much I really do not want Pitocin, but more how I did not want to have a c-section. Of course I got teary-eyed talking about the possibility of having surgery. I know many women have them everyday, but I did not want to add that to my list of accomplishments. She reassured me no matter what happens, everything will be ok.

Dr. V came into the room shortly after speaking to Tanya in the hallway. I overheard her telling him about my fears. They came into the room and immediately listened to Little A's heartbeat. Dr. V usually just estimates how fast his heart rate is, but today he took out his cell phone to time it...because it was not as fast as normal. Phew! Little A was still beating around 120 bpm, so everything was good.

The next step of my exam...checking for cervical dilation and effacement. As I'm laying there, all I could think of was please, please let my body show some signs that we are ready to deliver this little miracle. Sadly, there hadn't been much change since last week! Really?!?!

NOW WHAT???

Dr. V told me to go ahead and get dressed and he'd be back in a minute after he gives the next steps some thought. Upon his return he had a plan - two more days! Two more days before he'd induce me. He was hopeful that checking me today would help. I guess we'll wait and see.

Tanya called the hospital to let them know I would arrive on Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 7 AM to begin my induction.

Induction plan: Break my bag of waters (hopefully) and then Pitocin if needed.

I left the office knowing Little A would finally arrive in two days, really what was two more?